Hating one's life

Me: I hate her Zarn. I hate life. I hate myself.


Zarn: I hate you too.


Me: Do you? I thought you are my loyal friend?


Zarn: No, I am not your friend. I hate you.


Me: Even you Zarn. I am shocked. I do not want to live this life. I want to die. Do you really hate me?


Zarn: How can I befriend someone who does not value himself!


Silence


Zarn: Have you ever seen a cat that has its back crushed under car wheels pushing its squeezed body by its front legs looking for food?


Me: UGH. What an ugly image. Yes, I once did.


Zarn: I respect this cat more than someone who hates himself...

© Ahmad Magdy - 2009

World has turned into a jungle. Oh, no I used the wrong image.

World has turned into a jungle. Oh, no I used the wrong image.

In a jungle deers are not always fighting for grass. Birds do not destroy others' nests to prove they can do so. Flowers and trees grow everywhere in the jungle not within the lion's den only. Monkeys shower tigers with rocks fearlessly. They are not killed for making fun of these monsters.

Spiders build their homes wherever and whenever they want. They never wait for rats to dig the ground for them, or ants to plan their life for them. Even ravens have a life in the forest, they are not persecuted because of their hoarse voice. Bulls fight with each other, yet when a predator approaches, the herd run like one body regardless of their internal conflicts. Air in the jungle is wide open for all kinds of birds. It is not dominated by eagles. You never witness eagles soaring all the time, you always see birds of various colors and kinds conquering the free sky recklessly. Lions and Eagles maintain their superiority, yet all animals have a life. They are not oppressed. Snakes are not killed for being venomous or dangerous. In a Jungle, even ants have their community. They are significant. Every species has its role.

Never say that the world has become a jungle. Never compare between sane animals and insane humans. Have you ever seen animals in a killing-frenzy? Humans have seen this twice in their short history. See, never say that the world has become a jungle.

http://www.desktoprating.com/wallpapers/nature-wallpapers-pictures/fog-forest-wallpaper.jpg

© Ahmad Magdy - 2009

And Love !

Me: I loved her.

Zarn: When?

Me: What? I cannot remember. Maybe when I first saw her. Love at the first sight.

Zarn: When?

Me: Hmm. Well two weeks ago. It was on a Sunday. I was ...

Zarn: [Interrupted] When?

Me: Cannot you hear me? I said on a Sunday. It was about 11:00 AM

Zarn: It took you two weeks to realize that you do love her. Will you say so after two more weeks or after two years!

Me: I will always love her.

Zarn: Will you love her more than your children?

Me: [Hesitant] It is different. I will love them both.

Zarn: Mother and father?

Me: [Puzzled] I will love them too.

Zarn: Yourself?

Me: I love me as well.

Zarn: That is a big load of love to give, I wish you can deal with it. I have once known about a woman who has died giving birth to a dead child...







http://bristollifedrawing.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/peri-bristol-life-drawing-class-2.jpg

© Ahmad Magdy - 2009

How can a race be that perfect?

I believe Angels are ... Well. Maybe I do not believe in Angels. Can a whole race be always good, always pure, always "complete". I never knew about an angel who once in its life behaved recklessly or even sinned. Why? "Because they are angels" that is what I get. My crippled mind never comprehend this fact, that a race is that faultless. They might be like humans; impressive façades. Can a race be that flawless?

I am not "dissing" Angels or any one? But, this is just a thought. Angels are good, devils are bad, Humans are neither good nor bad, aren't these stereotypes funny? I hate it when someone describes a little child or a beautiful girl as an angel. Have you ever seen one yourself? "Yes, heard about them, read about them" OK as you like, but think about it more you will find it dubious -or may for me only. It is striking how quickly can one's mind jump to conclusions.

A Chinese philosopher who is called Lao Tzu was once walking with a friend of his down a desert road and suddenly, they saw a skull. His friend expressed his pity about the dead skull. Lao Tzu retorted "How do you know it's bad to be dead?"

How can a race be that perfect?

http://jaymeemerald.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/angel-of-the-morning.jpg

© Ahmad Magdy - 2009

Looks and faces make me think

Looks and faces make me think.

Looks that are as sharp as bows ready for war, or maybe bows that are not determind to fight but still they try to fool other worriars. I saw them fill the streets like posters glued to the the dingy walls. Curious, hesitent, fearful, daring. Looks that are ready to be accompanied by words at some cases and by silence at other. Ready to criticize and ready to meet any invading glance.

I think a lot about these looks and faces, and never cease to do. I look at these looks that may depress one and may make another one feel superior.

An Old man looking at young faces that are full of recklessness and unexpectedness with a tearful now-red eyes. A young girl slyly looking at handsome boys while bypassing their hungry deprived perverted looks. A woman -obviously mother- weightened by burdens helplessly concealing her fatigued eyes. A man observing the streets mindlessly shooting aimless arrows at random faces with no purpose - no purpose at all.

Wisdom is gone and life is still there, have you seen the dirty trees? Have you seen tiny rocks and ants? I have seen all of these, but I still have not seen everything on the same streets that I walk down every single day. Every day I detect plenty of new things that challenge my wondering mind, plenty of looks, plenty of phenomenans, plenty of scenes...

Yet still, looks and faces make me think.






http://www.iamshotaro.com/images/wondering.jpg

© Ahmad Magdy - 2009

Women can either Marry, or become Great Women

"Women can either Marry, or become Great Women"

This statement can easily put an eluded woman to rage. A line that can stoop at their regular believes that are by now a full grown mind. But before surrendering to the perplexing common reaction, and before jumping to conclusions, read my whispers through this note.

How many married women made history? Ok, ok, that was not a good start. I will start as calm as a soft breeze. A girl is born in majestic hopes of a sacred -not from the religious point of view but from the traditional Middle-Eastern view- matrimony that fill the hospital's air. Every cheering face that meet with the round-faced-piece-of-precious-meat perceive nothing but a grown girl accompanied by a man who can "care for her".

That introduction is also a bit slow-paced. Let me start over again; this time with concrete views. Man -GENERAL RULE AND I MEAN ALL MEN. YES I AM GENERALISING- in all societies, all places, all countries, all races and all planets -I believe- is and will be as dominating in his views as a king who speaks about being just and from-the-people. History like a flood has successfully wiped all traces of equality. Of course -like pulling ancient monuments out of oceans- some speckles of equality come to light throughout the last decade –and still women congratulate themselves with them- but they are never completely equal. Maybe, as some will succumb to the rusty perception which is that women are not like man physically. Well, bravo, they are not. But, what if they are equal mentally? Why does one still find some actions "improper" if done by women? Enough fooling ourselves!

I tried by all means to be as serene as a calm passer by who tries to explain the directions. I have always known that men are not ever going to shake off that luxury of inequality from their minds and their behavior. But, what I never knew is that many women refuse to have their "irresponsible" freedom.

Man has the seeds of inequality in his mind why do women water them, why?





http://mountcope.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/effects_of_abuse_.jpg

© Ahmad Magdy - 2009

Words ...

Have You Ever Noticed words clearly?

Cold

Can you feel this word? I can. I feel it aching. Gnowing at my bones, at my loneliness, at my dreams, at my world.

Old

Can you feel this too? I can. I can see it, but can't see me old. I can't visualize me bent, with white hair and no teeth, no hope, no dreams, no world, but Death

Death

Can you feel this word as well? I can...


http://www.jiscdigitalmedia.ac.uk/images/flickr-words.jpg

© Ahmad Magdy - 2009